It’s gonna get worse.

Things that make me want to scream and rip my eyelashes out:

• ‘More To Love’ – Reality show from Hell
• Republican jackasses who are using the memory of the late Teddy Kennedy to imply that he would have compramised on health care. His self proclaimed ’cause of his life’.
• The Mayor of Anchorage, AK and most of the Anchorage Assembly
• Jerry MOTHERFUCKING Prevo
• Kaity Perry, but she’s just one of those ‘thorn in my side’ things that is constant and not really current

Let’s go in order. This fucking catastrophe that is the More To Love show. My major issues: a) big girls shouldn’t need their own show to compete on, let those big girls compete with the skinny girls on the regular Bachelorette and have it actually be based in reality. In real life, big girls ‘compete’ for the affections of the menfolk right along side the skinny, lumpy, dark, light, tall, short, bitchy, sweet, smart and dumb girls as well. We don’t need segregation we need inclusion. b) The name is just flat fucking inflammatory and condescending. The premise is weak to say the least and the network has managed to find girls so lacking in general self esteem it’s not even funny. I know plenty of ‘real’ girls (their designation not mine, women are real in any shape or size.) that are confident, smart and sexy as Hell and don’t consider their size to be part of their appeal in any way. Why not just call the show ‘Chubby Chaser of Love’ and cut to the point?

I am not a small girl, but I’m not what the More To Love producers would consider a big girl either. I fall directly in that ‘average’ category. I’m a size 12-16 (depending on where I shop) and clock in at just over 200 lbs. I’m curvy and lumpy in spots, I don’t consider myself gorgeous but I’m not unattractive either. I managed to find a partner without a special show and have never had a hard time getting dates.

The problem with shows like these, and I have a major issue with ‘reality’ t.v. in general, is that we are further polarizing women from each other. This concept that big girls and skinny girls can’t a) get along, like there’s some fundamental feud between us and b) can’t compete on the same level for love/affection is ridiculous. All these shows are doing is reinforcing the idea that the man doing the picking here is picking based on physical appearance and not on the real reasons why people form long lasting happy healthy attachments. If the man participating is really looking for ‘love’ and a partner in life, it shouldn’t be based on what size dress the girl wears. I’m much more fond of that Dating in the Dark show than I am of this bullshit, though that one almost always ends badly with someone walking away in tears. It’s all fucked up and horrible and I think everyone should just stick to eHarmony or Chemistry.com and call it a day. Keep your shit private and we’ll find something else to watch.

Woo. After all that I’m worn out. We’ll save the rest of that list above for another day. I will say one thing about the whole ‘Teddy Kennedy would have compromised and we would have a health care reform bill if he were still alive’ bullshit: first of all you’re flat fucking wrong, douchenozzles, because good ol’ Teddy was pretty unwavering on the health care debate. It’s called the Kennedy bill for Christs sake and he felt strongly enough about it to write a letter to the Pope. Secondly, he only died a week ago it’s not like he’s long dead and we’re just getting around to the conversation. His views didn’t change after he died. Quit invoking the name of an honorable and dedicated public servant to further your bullshit rhetoric. It’s demeaning to the collective intelligence of your constituents. Stop it.

What the What?

I, like so many others, have been wrapped up in this health care reform debate. I have no problem stating over and over that I am a fan of a single payer system. It may be the only way to ensure that EVERY American receives the health care they deserve and get a bit closer to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” that was promised somewhere in an important document. The name of it escapes me but I’m sure it will come back to me…

Over the weekend, the message from President Obama and staff has been shifting in light of the ‘death panel’ controversy and town hall protesters. It is disappointing because the debate over health care reform (as Daniella Marie pointed out in a prior post) has not been a debate at all. There have been a bunch of people being disruptive and allowing fucking assholes like Sarah Palin ‘blog’ about death panels and that douchenozzle Rush Limbaugh spread more lies and compare the Obama adminstration TO FUCKING NAZIS. As Liz Lemon says, what the what?

How did we come to this? Is it because the birther movement didn’t quite pan out, because people still have their feelings hurt that Obama won and by a big margin, that a majority of the American people want health care reform? I suppose I do not understand why there are some Americans that want no part in making sure that the millions of Americans without access to health care receive it, when in fact some of those people are on a single payer system that works for them called Medicare. They are the people that believe the lies that are being spread around by people they should second guess. They are and for heads of big insurance companies making over $11 million a year and yet people down here are declaring bankruptcy or even dying because they cannot afford to get a simple procedure done or didn’t get any preventative health care. Doesn’t the bible preach something about taking care of your fellow man? Caring about what happens to them? Seriously, what the what?  

This past weekend, the administration has been shifting their message and saying health care reform doesn’t necessarily have to have the public option. It may or may not be there. There are several polls coming left and right saying that the Senate may not have the votes for reform with a public option. It is not reform without public option and if the administration is changing their message, I think it’s because we are not making our voices heard loud enough. We need to remind our Senators and Representatives that they are there to represent US, ALL OF US, NOT JUST THE FUCKING FRINGE, NOT THEIR SPECIAL INTERESTS, NOT THEIR FUCKING PARTY LINE. If you haven’t already, contact your Senators and your House Representative. Make sure that they understand who is their boss. It’s us.

Louder and Slower

My boyfriend and I have a saying that we use sometimes. Ignorant people often try to make their same redundant point by saying it louder and slower like that somehow is going to make a difference to the other person. Usually it just means the person who is saying it louder and slower is just being dumb or is incapable of a rational argument. I’m beginning to think though that sometimes when you’ve just reached a point in which you want to beat your own skull in, that maybe louder and slower is the only way to continue speaking without physically maiming someone.

I am to the louder and slower self inflicted injury stage when it comes to the fight for gay rights. A few posts ago I mentioned a local ordinance that was going to be voted on in my hometown of Anchorage Alaska that would ensure that homosexuals are treated like citizens in their own town by not being discriminated against based on their sexual orientation. This ordinance seemed like a no brainer to me, just restating what the Equal Employment Opportunity Act already says we should do when it comes to employment, but extending it also to housing and education. Makes sense right? Our national government already recognizes that it’s wrong to deny a person equal opportunities based on their orientation, so Anchorage Alaska should be able to get on board right?

The good news is, the Anchorage Assembly approved this ordinance. The bad news is that for some bizarre and ridiculous reason (those are seriously the nicest possibly words I could come up with, everything else that came to mind are words not fit to use in front of my grandmother.) the local mayor of Anchorage, Dan Sullivan decided to veto the decision.

This blog has always been a no holds barred say it like it is kind of place, so in keeping with the Mouthy Marie Mentality I say to Mr. Sullivan: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Seriously! To veto a decision made by your Assembly and by proxy your people is a just flat fucking rude and kind of a slap in the face to local government, but to veto a proposition that would disallow discrimination is to basically say you endorse discrimination. So is that it, Mr. Mayor? You endorse discrimination in Anchorage?

Or is it that you just don’t think it exists?

A quote from the Mayor’s press release regarding this veto:

My review shows that there is clearly a lack of quantifiable evidence necessitating this ordinance. My review also shows that the vast majority of those who communicated their position on the ordinance are in opposition.

So if I am to understand correctly; a) there is no evidence that discrimination exists in Anchorage and b) you heard from loud mouth right wingers who oppose any form of equality the most so you’re sticking with them.

Again: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE! The opposition is always the loudest. That doesn’t mean that ‘he who screams the loudest wins’ that simply means that ‘he who is screaming probably ISN’T GAY AND ISN’T BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST’.

What you’re telling us with this statement is that you are taking the word of the majority. This right here is the exact problem; the majority doesn’t fucking matter here. The majority doesn’t have a problem being discriminated against, hence why they are the majority. They are the discriminators, they have the money, the affluence and the will power and time to scream the loudest. If in those ‘over 2,500 additional communications’ that Mayor Sullivan received regarding this ordinance there was even one proclamation of discrimination that alone should be enough to justify the passing of this ordinance. As a representative of the people of Anchorage, you should be looking out for the good of the whole. This ordinance is not in any way detrimental to anyone; it is only helpful to those who need it.

What harm does it do to anyone to ensure the equality of all?

You will hear more about this from me, and I plan on writing a letter to Mr. Sullivan and anyone else who will listen. I will scream (or scribble) until my lungs are raw or until someone hears me. I urge ALL of you, straight, gay or otherwise to do the same. I don’t care if you live in Alaska or not, this is a matter of equality and it does not matter where it is happening. Mayor Sullivan is caving to the whims of those who wish to be justified in their oppression of equality, that is never okay, no matter where it takes place or who it happens to.

No one is safe, if we can justify oppressing the gays that it’s a slippery slope to the oppression of other minority groups as well. Do not allow this kind of behavior to go unnoticed. The only way this stops is if everyone, everywhere takes notice, refuses to shut up and take it. Speak up, dammit! Say something. THIS IS NOT RIGHT.

Just Sayin’

I have just got to get some shit out of my head and down on the internet so I can feel less fucking crazy.

1) Dear Whackjobs At Town Hall Meetings on Healthcare Reform: You are doing no one any favors. Your disruptive, rude and dismissive blitz attacks on the very concept of democracy only serve to make YOU look like assholes. Not the Congressmen and women you are attacking, not the health care reform bill you are attacking, not the President you are convinced isn’t legitimately your President. (Breaking News: You’re wrong.)
Screaming and yelling at a meeting like you’re a classroom full of jr. high students, does nothing for your ’cause’. While we’re on the subject of your ’cause’; let’s get down to brass tacks here. A public OPTION (note the word option, not mandate, not requirement, not only choice, option.) is in most Americans best interest. The only people who don’t benefit from a public option are insurance companies who have been allowed to run roughshod over the health care needs of the average American. Everyone I know who has health insurance has at least one story about not being able to get the prescription they needed because it wasn’t on the ‘preferred’ list, or not being able to get in to see their gynecologist without waiting 6 months for an appointment. How about just having to sift through the list of providers that your insurance offers and then trying to make an appointment. Have you ever received a letter from your insurance provider informing you that they were raising your rates for no apparent reason? I have. Have you ever paid out the nose for your monthly premium and then not had enough money left over to actually pay the $25 co-pay to go see your doctor? I have. How is this better service than a public option? How is this any different than having a bureaucrat between me and my doctor? My doctor says I need to have a procedure and when I go to make the appointment for said procedure I get a phone call from my insurance company saying they don’t cover that procedure. All the public option does is offer good old fashion competition for these insurance companies who have managed to get away with highway robbery unchecked for decades.
Here’s the fun part; I don’t even want the public option. I just want the public option to put my insurance company in check. I want my insurance company to realize that I can and will take my business elsewhere if they keep doing whack shit.

2) Dear ‘Birthers’: First of all, get a better fucking spokesperson because Orly Tate is a lunatic in lip gloss who gets squeaky when she gets frustrated. If your whole point is that Barack Obama is somehow not an American, and shouldn’t be allowed to be President than you should probably find a spokesperson who a) actually knows what the Constitution says about the qualifications of a U.S. President and b) what our citizenship laws are in general. Also, the accent isn’t helping your cause. Now, secondly, if you’re going to contest the birth certificate that has been certified by the state in which he was born you may want to do a better job of forging a contesting document. Also, thirdly, IT’S TOO FUCKING LATE. He’s the President. You’re never EVER going to get him removed from office and you’re wasting your breath, your time and space on the internet. Knock it the fuck off and fight his policies, fight his ideas, fight his administration. Fight something that can actually be backed up you right wing lunatics.

The crazy is just ramping up in this country and it’s making my head spin. I find myself yelling at MSNBC, Fox News and CNN like it’s a hockey game. I cannot believe the level of discourse in this country has been reduced to school yard taunts, trying to out shout each other and fanning the flames of fear and hatred ON FUCKING FACEBOOK. Politicians (or former politicians who quit their jobs half way through their terms and who probably shouldn’t be fucking talking anyways) be a grown up and get a God damn blog like normal people. Facebook is not the place for long winded rants about Obama’s “death panels” and stoking the fires of discontent. Keep your crazy out of my friends feed.

Just needed to get that off my chest.

Did you just say ‘Faggot’?

The one word in the English language that can instantly provoke unrelenting rage in me is the word ‘faggot’. It is probably the only word you could utter in line at a book store where I am waiting patiently to buy a magazine about sewing that would make me switch from mild mannered knitter to raging bitch from Hell.

Here’s what happened: I’m standing in line at my local bookstore. I recently learned to sew and I stopped by on my way home from work and a nice dinner with friends to get a magazine on sewing and to pick up a book on sewing techniques. I am that nerdy. I’m waiting for the next cashier when two young men get in line behind me. Sasha Baron Cohen is on the cover of GQ Magazine this month in his Bruno character. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but as I understand it it’s basically a rehash of Borat but poking fun at homophobia instead of ethnic stereotypes. Regardless, it’s a movie.

The two guys behind me are in their mid twenties, one is probably of Middle Eastern descent (though has no accent, so I’m sure he was 100% American born and bred.) and the other is of some kind of ‘person of color’ ethnic heritage, though I couldn’t tell what. (Since I’m the whitest Mexican I know, he may have just been a really tan white guy, for all I know.)

These two men begin having a conversation about Bruno behind me, talking about how they kind of wanted to see it but the dude is naked almost the whole movie and it’s totally gay. This goes on for a few moments, I was slightly annoyed because I could tell by their tone that they felt ‘totally gay’ to be a bad thing. Then the unthinkable happened:

This motherfucker behind me utters the phrase ‘fucking faggot’. IN PUBLIC. WHERE THERE ARE CHILDREN. AND OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

I whipped around and fixed him with my steely glare. He says to me ‘Oh sorry, I was just talking about that dude in Bruno.’ To which I respond “Yes, I know. First of all, he’s not gay and he’s playing a character. Secondly the word ‘faggot’ is really fucking inflammatory and you’d better watch who you say that shit around.”

He then says “Uh, ooookay.” (silence for a half a beat.) “Dyke.”

At which point I march up to the counter, pay for my magazine and beat feet out of the bookstore before I am escorted from the premises for beating the shit out of this ignorant, homophobic, bigoted jackass.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. I am so mad I can barely see straight. I don’t give a shit what kind of fucked up ignorant point of view you’re harboring in that tiny pea brain of yours, or what ridiculous shit you spout to your friends and family in the privacy of your car, home or what have you. I do care when you spread that shit around and find it acceptable to say it in public! In a book store of all places! Not that there is any good place to be an ignorant asshole, but seriously? In line at the fucking bookstore? REALLY, BUDDY?!?

I can’t even quite process exactly what just happened. All I know is that I would be completely remiss as a member of the rational human race if I just let that shit slide and that man is lucky I was by myself and don’t like to get tossed out of bookstores because had anyone else been with me to pry me off in time, I would have just straight clawed his eyes out.

UGH. I kind of hate most of the human race right now.

Personal is Political. And vice versa.

My sister is gay. I’ve known this pretty much her entire life. I think we all did, even though some of us in my family were a little harder to convince than others. My sister has not been ostracized, she has not been cast out and she is the farthest from a second class member of our family. She is my sister, just as my other sister and my brothers are my siblings. Quite frankly, I had a harder time coming to grips with the fact that two of my brothers voted Republican in the last election cycle than I did with the fact that my sister is gay.

My family lives in Anchorage, Alaska and there is currently a ballot initiative for a city ordinance that would ban discrimination in hiring, housing and eduction based on sexual orientation. There is a great article in the local paper that describes the proposed ordinance and also the subsequent extremist religious organization that is working against it. We used to call this guy; Jerry Prevo and his ‘church’ the Buy You Baptist because they would recruit by promising candy and hot dogs on the bus to take you to Sunday school and the children and families that attended were expected to recruit a certain number of new followers. This same ‘man of God’ has a gay child himself who he very publicly disowned many years ago and condemned to Hell in various sermons. Jerry Prevo; in a nutshell, is a piece of shit. His youth groups smack of Hitler Youth programs and the whole thing is utterly fucking disgusting to me.

My father keeps a blog and has recently written a very wonderful, enlightening and insightful piece about this ordinance, his gay daughter and the general mindset of those who oppose gay rights. Keep in mind that my father, previous to my sister coming out, used to make proclamations about how no child of his would be gay and other such nonsense. To his credit that mentality lasted less than 20 seconds once my sister came out and my father has made a complete 180 from the radical views he once espoused when I was a child. He has become my sisters biggest advocate and champion (aside from myself of course.) and has been a solid and clear voice for social and political change in the Anchorage area since then especially in regards to gay rights.

I don’t understand why we still have this conversation about gay rights. To me it’s complete common sense; to do anything other than uphold 100% the very tenets of our national Constitution by granting ALL Americans the same rights is simply going back to segregation, prejudice and Jim Crow-esque laws. I can do nothing more than shake my head in shame that this is still a conversation in our society and that we haven’t yet figured out how to be more advanced than this. It’s upsetting and disturbing that this is even a fight at all, let alone a big one and a continuously ongoing one.

Knowledge is power, people. Even though it’s happening in a town most people have never been to and don’t care about, every fight for gay equality is a big one and deserves the same level of attention as Prop 8 and other laws and legislature being passed. Know what’s going on in your community and in others.

In My Crosshairs: Bitch Mart

I love Bitch Magazine. I really do. I’m a sustainer as a matter of fact, I love their articles, I love their mission, I love just about everything about them. Except their store. First of all, I wanted to buy a tee shirt. I didn’t want one of the horribly unflattering boy cut boxy shirts, so I went looking at their girl shirts.

The biggest the girl shirts go is up to a size 12. Well, Bitch Mart, what the fuck? I might be able to fit my belly into a size 12 and end up looking like a Bitch Brand Sausage, but why would I do that? I bought a tote bag instead. I wanted to be supportive and also show off my love of their cause with some kind of swag, but I ordered that damn tote 4 weeks ago! Still no show.

So let’s recap: they don’t sell cute shirts for fat girls, and when a fat girl is forced to buy a tote bag instead it takes forever and a day to come. Not cool, Bitch Mart. Not cool at all.

I will still support you, and I understand that you’re looking for a supplier for larger size shirts, but seriously, if I have to wait for Fat Girl Sizes to begin with the least you can do is ship your totes a little faster.

Kthnxbai

I’ve read the Bible too you know.

I had another run in with FDB today. It’s been a long semester with this girl in my Political Science class. I’ve become increasingly frustrated by her thick skull and narrow mind.
Let’s recap some ‘best of’ moments from her this semester:
“We are a Christian Nation”
“I don’t mind gays, I just don’t want to see it on the street”
“Being gay is immoral”
“Abortion should be illegal. It’s murder”
Starting multiple political arguments with “…the Bible says”

Today we ran through literally ALL of those, PLUS adding on “Jesus hated homosexuality”.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Now, I will admit I’m no Christian scholar, but I have read the Bible (more than once) and have studied multiple other religious texts. I’ve spent time in several churches, mosques and other holy houses. I’ve been fascinated with religion for a long time. All of this religious study has led me to a few conclusions, the first and foremost being this: Jesus was a pretty chill dude. Jesus spread a message of love and acceptance. Jesus wanted the worlds people to work together in harmony. Jesus almost universally is recognized as a peace maker and neighborly kind of guy. That was his whole gig, the ‘love thy neighbor’ thing. I dig Jesus, he seems like a swell guy who was on to a pretty awesome concept.

Unfortunately over time we’ve managed to warp those basic principles of love, acceptance and being neighborly into something ugly, mean and vicious. We’ve managed to make this groovy dude the center and reasoning behind wars, genocide, hatred, oppression and everything short of full on Apocalypse.

I’m not okay with that.

So today I lost my shit a little (on the inside) I actually had to grip the sides of my desk in class to keep from just whipping around and freaking out on little miss Holier than Thou. I did let her know that I don’t remember Jesus saying he ‘hated’ anything, ever. She retorted with a really nasty curled lip and spat out some statement about her having studied the Bible.
So have I, thankyouveryfuckingmuch, and I also don’t remember it being in the Christian doctrine to feel superiority over other people just because you think you’re more Christian than me.

My vision did swim a little and my mind may have briefly flipped to post ‘beer in the face’ mentality for a split second after she called me an Atheist like it was a) some sort of disgusting animal and b) in an attempt to discredit my remarks.

Let’s make this clear: I am not an Atheist, but even if I was that does not automatically discredit my ability to speak intelligently on a piece of literature that is currently in publication. Which is all the Bible really is, quite frankly, a piece of literature. It is not history, it is not confirmed fact, it is almost fiction quite frankly but I understand it’s cultural and spiritual implications and honor it as the holy book it is. I also take it for what it is though; a book. A collection of short stories and semi-biographical or auto biographical parables and societal standards for a certain group of people. The end. That’s all it is to the rest of the world. To Muslims and Jews and Buddhists and Pagans it’s just a book. It’s not their holy text, it’s not even a holy text.

That in mind; my or anyone’s ability to speak about the content of such a book should not be based on their personal religious belief. Anymore than my ability to discuss the finer points of the Harry Potter books should have anything to do with whether I personally believe you can play a weird wizardly version of lacrosse in the sky. My ability to discuss both books depends on whether I have read and understood the content. I don’t have to believe in it, I just have to understand it.

I do. I get that the modern Christian faith (and nearly all major religions the world over) still have not accepted homosexuality as a whole. I understand that they’ve come up with a clever way to disguise their intolerance with slogans like “hate the sin, not the sinner” and “pray the gay away” ministries. I also understand that these are not a not so subtle ‘fuck you’ to the millions of their fellow humans. I also understand that this is DIRECTLY OPPOSING WHAT JESUS FUCKING TAUGHT.

And lastly, that bullshit about not laying down with mankind as with womankind was in Leviticus (which is full of really FUCKED UP SHIT that most Christians disregard as pure and simple whackiness).

Leviticus 18:22 says: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” (According to King James bible translation)

Okay, fair enough. The verse right before that one? Leviticus 18:19 says: “Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.”
Um, okay, some people may say it’s kind of gross but I don’t think most modern Christians are going around flinging this verse around at those who get down while on the rag.

I’ve just finished rereading most of Leviticus for the purposes of writing this blog post, and it seems the whole first part of this book is about sacrifices and offerings, which by the way unless it’s some nag champa or sage we don’t do anymore.

So, dear Bible thumping whack jobs, if you’re going to throw Bible verses around like they are law, then you need to get on board with the rest of it. Even the bits about slaves, sacrifices, selling of daughters and visiting of temple prostitutes. Until then, take it for what it is; ancient customs that are slowly going out of fashion. Take the message as a whole, take the teachings of Jesus, your Savior and Lord for what they are and try your best to live by his ideals and principles. Be a good person, do good things and live a Christ like life. Hatred is not Christ like.

Also, don’t bring that weak shit to Political Science class. It’s college, not Sunday school. Get your shit together. Oh, and for the record, I consider myself to be spiritual and live my life to the best of my ability to be as accepting, loving and giving as I can. I believe in charity, tolerance and love. I don’t consider myself Christ like, but I do my best. I also believe that everyone has a different standard they live to, and that we need to recognize those standards too: if you want to be Buddha-like or Mohammad-like, good on ya and best of luck.

T-minus 21 days until graduation.

Mouthy Marie Video Series: Proper Public Behavior

The Maries had….an incident. We went to what we thought was going to be a happy fun time 90’s alt rock trip down memory lane, and instead we learned some important life lessons.

Namely: don’t fuck with the Mouthy Maries. We are seriously half a bottle of Miller Lite (in the face) away from complete and total unbridled rage. (Complete with kicking and scratching and screaming.)

Good to know.

Now here’s the video explanation.

“Did She Just Call Me a Dumb Slut?” from Mouthy Maries on Vimeo.

Explicit language used in this video! Viewer beware.

Video content for the Mouthy Marie Blog
http://mouthymaries.wordpress.com

More from the Mouthy Marie Video Series coming soon.

Scandalous Bitches

One of my least favorite things is competitiveness. I am not a competitive person. I like to get along and I like to be part of a team. I like to work together with those around me for everyone to achieve their goals. I like to be the person who takes part in other peoples success and to give credit when other people take part in mine. It makes me feel good. I think the world needs cooperation in order to be a better place. I think if more people, women in particular, cared less about getting theirs and more about making sure the people around them were taken care of too that things would be better.

That said, I have a fucking bone to pick. It falls in line with that happy fun time paragraph above.

There is a tendency among women, especially young women, to be competitive. Not in a  sports analogy way,  not in a career seeking way, but with men. This really really bothers me. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone. I think we need to open our eyes and our hearts a little more sometimes to figure out who that someone is, because they may be standing right in front of you but you passed them off as a ‘buddy’ or ‘too short’. Since there is someone for everyone, there is no reason for a woman who is in a long term committed relationship to feel like she has to defend her relationship against other women.

I’ll lay it out a little clearer for you: there is a happy couple, they’ve been together oh we’ll say 5 years or so and while they’re not legally married they live together and raise dogs and have a pretty nice life together. They’ve worked through the tough shit, and had the knock down drag out fights about what the future holds. They are about as solid of a couple as you can get these days. Enter single woman who is unattached and flirtatious. I don’t mind flirty, as a matter of fact I don’t even mind when other women flirt with my boyfriend because it reminds me that he is a catch and that I’m lucky to have him. And that he chose me. It makes both of us feel good.

But there is a line with flirting. There is a very clear and concise line as a matter of fact. When the single unattached woman knows you, knows your boyfriend, knows your friends and knows that everyone is happily in a committed relationship and then chooses to continue to flirt, aggressively I might add, well then we’ve crossed a line.

Especially when said single unattached woman who is flirting aggressively spend 4 plus hours at a party you’re throwing in honor of your boyfriend without so much as uttering a single word in your direction. No ‘hello’, no ‘how are you doing’, nothing. Just cuts straight to getting handsy with your boy. Not fucking cool lady.

I don’t worry about my boyfriend cheating on me. As I said before we are a solid couple. If he were unhappy with me, he is the sort of man who would just flat out tell me that he wasn’t happy or that his needs weren’t being met. He’s not the sort to cheat. He would simply break up with me and move on. I’m acutely aware of that fact, and I’m not offended by it or hurt by it. It is just simply the way he is. After 5 years together I’ve come to know him very well. I also know the sort of girl who might be a real threat, and this particular girl is not his type. Not at all, so I’m not worried about him cheating or even leaving me for her. That is not the problem here.

The problem here is that this woman, who is a confident and by all accounts successful woman, feels the need to come to a party I am throwing and flaunt her flat stomach and ridiculous giggle in front of me as some sort of show of power. It’s a very crude display of a very stupid mentality: “I’m prettier than you and I could take your man if I wanted to.”

THIS IS FUCKED UP BEHAVIOR. Women of the world, read this carefully and take note, NEVER ever should we be working against each other’s self esteem in this manner. Over the course of four hours this woman completely broke me down. I felt like a fat, stupid, jealous bridge troll by the end of the night because I had watched her giggle and stroke my boyfriends arms and shoulders all night while they talked.

Let me say this: I am not fat (chunky, full figured, curvy – pick your favorite. But not fat.), stupid (3.8 GPA, President of the Honor Society in college), jealous (okay, a little jealous…) nor a bridge troll by any means. I know that I am deeply loved and cherished by the man I have chosen to be my partner in life. I have a multitude of talents and I’m funny, witty and engaging when I want to be. There is absolutely no reason why this womans behavior should have broken me down the way it did. It’s my own fault really, I bought into her bullshit. Just because she’s selling it, doesn’t mean I have to buy it as the saying goes. I know that, and still, being fully aware of all of those things I still bought it.

The 3 or 4 rum drinks I’d had by this time may have aided in the quick devolution of my self confidence a bit though.

Here is the moral of this story: You know who you are. You know what your own personal talents and strengths are. You know that you are a unique, beautiful individual.  It doesn’t matter which side of this story you are on; don’t buy into this ill concieved behavior. Just because we are socialized as women to be competitive and to feel like crap when someone prettier comes onto the scene doesn’t mean we actually have to do it. Break the cycle.

Scandalous bitches: I beseech you; cease and desist in this behavior. Find your own boyfriends and husbands. Spend some time finding something about your self that is more important than your physical appearance and learn to love that part of yourself that deserves something better than second helpings.

Committed women: Quit buying into the jealousy schemes and negative vibes from the scandalous women. You are loved, you are cherished and you AND ONLY you can control how these types of women make you feel. Don’t take their bait, and they won’t win the battle.

As for me, I’m officially done with this nonesense. I ranted on the way home from the party, I even cried a little because I felt so stupid. I bitched to my friends and talked mad shit about this poor girl who I should just feel sorry for. I’m not mad any more, I’m not even upset. This woman just wants to be liked, wants to feel important and wanted and she’s just chosen a very poor medium for going about getting that reassurance. I hope she figures it out in the near future because if I sit through one more social gathering with her watching her act this way, there’s going to be a stern talking to in the parking lot about feminist ideals and how women should treat each other.